I have been hiding.
I have been hiding for 23 years. Well 23 years approximately, I don’t know when the game of hide and seek began but I know I was playing alone and I know I forgot to ever find myself…UNTIL… I tripped over my old hiding place and I came face to face with the mask I had been wearing for the world. Can you imagine coming face to face with your reflection and not having a clue who you were looking at?
What happened next?
I woke up. I woke up and it wasn’t an easy Sunday morning yawn with a cup of hot tea waiting for me type of awakening. No no! That would be too easy. My awakening was a hungover, PMSing and a missed my train to work by 1 minute type of feeling and it had lasted my entire lifetime. Until finally, I woke the f*ck up.
You see, when you’re hiding you don’t even realise you’re hiding until you have been found. When you’re hiding you feel safe, because you’re even hidden from yourself.
I had that constant whisper deep inside of me constantly there in the background whilst I was sleep walking my way through life. I kept asking myself:
“who am I?”
“what do I want?”
“what is my purpose?”
Everytime I heard the whisper I drowned it out with ANY other voice I could find. Those voices came in different shapes and sizes but none of them sounding like me. The REAL me. The one asking all those questions. Until one day I grew some balls and my real voice got so loud, I couldn’t help but listen.
You can tell yourself something once and you wont listen. You can say it a few dozen times and you’ll start to listen. Tell yourself something all day every day and you’ll f*cking hear. That’s what my soul had been doing to me, my true self. The voice got louder and louder until I finally stopped to listen and try to begin to answer those questions.
I had no idea who I was, what I wanted or what my purpose to be on this earth was. I had completely lost myself. Or the ‘self’ I thought I was. But of course, I had to loose myself to be able to find the real me.
For the past 23 years, I have been hiding, but now I am free.
I am free to be me.
Take time to listen to what your soul is trying to tell you. Tune into your inner frequency. Trust yourself. Trust your intuition. Trust your gut instincts.
You will never fail you.
Sit in your truth and watch all the doors open for you.
This is your journey to walk alone. If something doesn’t feel right, stop and un-do it. Make a U-turn, it’s never too late to step back and let the universe take you to where you’re supposed to be.
For the past 23 years I have been hiding.